The Specter Bridegroom from Ghosts & Spirits Tarot

I love the piano. To me, the keys are allegorical. They are emotive, mysterious, scary and can be a girl’s best friend. They can feel hard and cold, slippery and wet, warm and soft–all depending on what is being played and how it’s being played. I’ve cried tears on the keys and have stroked them with affection. They help bring mind, soul and hands to a place where musical narratives can flow with their cleansing tendencies. In German, this is called “Seele waschen” or soul washing. It’s the seele waschen that has kept me from completely abandoning my relationship with the piano. Even when I wasn’t playing it (sometimes years between), I would listen to its soft whispers in my mind. Piano has always been there with me, through everything I’ve done in life.

I was fortunate enough to have classical training as a child with a music professor whose own son started at the same time and went on to Juilliard and beyond. He was committed. I was the rebel. He had the discipline. I had preoccupations. He went on to be a great pianist. I rejected the instrument by 14 thinking how clever I was to do so. I turned my back on the piano–I had “piano hands”, “a good ear”, an aptitude at the start, but I wanted to be emancipated from the practicing regimen and lost sight of the piano’s purpose in my life.

This is only a half truth. What really happened? In the eight grade, I auditioned for a talent show doing keyboards with my friends Mike and Maura on vocals. The performance was a disaster and I swore to myself that I would never play in front of people again.

and I didn’t.

Until now, 30 years later.

I had dabbled on piano over the years, but it was largely ignored until my own daughter started playing with an intensity that brought me back to an innocent time of being the enthusiastic student who wanted to learn how to play. Those feelings, the yearning to learn, grow and feel something awesome as one plays flooded me with an unexpected reawakening. I knew what I had to do.

I restarted piano lessons and fell madly in love with the learning process. I was now the fool with her piano and it felt wonderful to be reunited with my old friend.

Here I am practicing at home. The glasses are just for fun:

Just four months after my first lesson, I was performing in front of a roomful of mostly strangers. My playing was not great as the piano had a few more lessons to teach me: humility and respect. Just because I thought I knew my pieces and thought I played good enough doesn’t mean the piano keys were going to completely cooperate when it had to. My brain took momentary vacations between measures and my fingers decided to engage in interludes of abstraction. At one point, I went completely blank–forgetting everything I knew about piano. Has that ever happened to you? The dreaded disconnect between mind and hands did happen while I was playing in front of a room full of curious people, but somehow my soul held it together. I kept going on and didn’t give up. I showed the piano that I had fortitude and that I wasn’t going to cower to self perceived failure. I was determined to finish what I started no matter what.

Here I am performing at my first recital ever, mistakes and all:

I finished to loud applause and got a big hug from my teacher. I think the fact that I made it through was enough to generate support from the kind strangers who bore witness to my tenacity.  I had the courage to face the piano as a new, old student without losing myself along the way. One woman even came up to me and told me how great she thought I was and she herself had thought about playing again. Can it be that maybe just maybe I had inspired her? If that is true, then it was SO worth going up there as the fool and her intrepid piano playing. I’d like to think that I’ve inspired my daughter as well. Hopefully she will get past the age 14-hump 8 years from now and realize that sticking to it is the clever thing to do.

My brilliant teacher told me that stage fright is like a naughty phantom. When it happens, it’s an invaluable experience. “It is like an initiation ceremony for the stage”. She is already talking about the next time I go through it as if the “naughty stage fright phantom” is a permanent fixture on the stage, so to speak. Instead of pretending it’s not there, one must be prepared to deal with it!

With that said, I’m sticking to it with no intentions of ever straying from my musical path again. Fortunately, I found a kindred spirit in my amazing teacher and friend Sivabruntha, who has been undyingly supportive and encouraging of me. I will blog along the way, through tangled wood and smooth riding pathways. Music is art and art is music. I don’t do art and music perfectly, but I have the passion to do it and that is what is really important. As my friend Patrick Valenza recently told me: “It’s the process, not the outcome”. Well said, my friend.

Innocence (The Fool), Growth, Strength, and The Star. Artwork from The Fairy Tale Tarot, Shapeshifter Tarot & Celtic Dragon Tarot

Have any of you experienced stage fright? I would love to hear your stories.

~Lisa

Here I am with a foolish young heart (and thin figure!). This is 1995 while working on my first tarot deck: the Shapeshifter Tarot

This is the painting that determined my artistic path. The Sorceress was the sample I painted before landing my first tarot contract with Llewellyn Publications.

Here's a Shapeshifter portrait I did for 60's rock icon, Donovan. I flew to San Francisco and presented the framed painting to him in person at a 1997 Whole Life Expo (my apologies for the poor photo quality--I know I have more somewhere).

Here I am in 1998 at an Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale graduation. At the time I was working on Celtic Dragon Tarot, I was also earning a degree in Computer Animation (very new at the time). I face-mapped the Shapeshifter Tarot images on 3D runes and had them spin around in space. No one ever saw anything like that before and it earned me the top prize in my graduating class (and a subsequent job as a conceptual designer and later, college teacher).

Here's my studio. On the wall is a framed Celtic Dragon Tarot press sheet. As my biggest seller, it holds a place of honor in my workspace.

After Celtic Dragon Tarot, my book Celestial Goddesses was published. I met fabulous people along the way, including my dear friend Pam (professional singer/art educator extraordinaire). This was taken during the Spring of 2002.

I also met my future husband at the one and only Celestial Goddesses book signing. It was destiny!

During the past 15 years, I've nurtured an extraordinary friendship with the brilliant and soulful Kris Waldherr.

While I was earning my Masters Degree in Interdisplinary Studies, Animals Divine Tarot was published. It earned a COVR award the following year (2006).

After Animals Divine Tarot, there was Fantastical Creatures Tarot published by US Games. Here I am at a 2007 INATS East signing/reading. I was busy!

While working on tarot decks and books, I had kids! Here I am with my artistic son Connor in 2009.

Here's Kyra in the studio in (early 2009?). My kids love to draw too!

Here's a bookcover-in-progress I did last year.

I also had a 10 year stint as a Collectible Card Game artist, but after over 100 images I retired from the industry.

I also studied martial arts and earned my Black Belt in TKD as a means of getting healthy and feeling more balanced while in the studio. It's easy to neglect oneself when one is so consumed by one's artistic passions! (2008)

I loved writing this book!

Here's a framed press sheet of The Fairy Tale Tarot that hung at a local gallery in 2009.

Here I am at work in the studio. I use the TP for painting--just in case you were confused. (2010)

Here's what I'm working on now...

and here's what I'll be working on next.

It has been a wonderful journey so far. I can honestly say that I feel a deep sense of gratitude for my life. Yes, I did make things happen, but I also feel I’m a blessed person to be able to live my passion and know who I am. Who knows what will be? But for now, I’m perfectly content with the here and now. But sometimes it’s good to reflect back and take pause. I don’t take anything for granted!

~ Lisa

In honor of this anniversary I’m having another giveaway. Either leave a comment below or  Follow and “tweet” the following message on twitter.com: “Win a signed 2′x3′ poster of the ‘Queen of Swords’ for the Celtic Dragon Tarot’s 10th Anniv! Follow Lisa & RT. http://is.gd/4Lf4x” Entries will be tallied at the end of the month and the winner randomly drawn from them. Commenting here AND on twitter gives you 2 entries, but no further submissions will not be counted. I will gladly ship anywhere around the world.

Also this month, we’re having a sale on a limited edition Celtic Dragon Tarot Kit. Included is:

• a signed American release of this legendary  kit (deck & book)
• a signed, archival  print (choice of the Moon, King of Wands, the Hermit, the Magician & the Lovers)
• a unique dragon sketch by me, Lisa, done just for this special offer on an individual basis
• a Celtic Dragon greeting card

There are just 15 of these kits available and they’ll be at the low price of $60 (a $95 value) only until January 1st (S&H is FREE in the continental US). I’ll have a paypal link on the Purchase page of my website soon, or you can message/email me to reserve a copy.

CONTEST CLOSED-The winner will soon be announced. Thanks everyone for your participation!